How Anyone Can Become Charismatic

Some people have a magnetic quality about them – they attract attention the moment they walk into a room. When they speak, others feel captivated or drawn in. This is the quality of having charisma.

Think about the well-liked boss who can somehow remember everyone’s names, or the colleague who always brightens your day when they talk to you.

In the workplace, such charismatic people can inspire others to get things done. They also find it easier to build relationships because of their ability to quickly form meaningful connections and make people feel safe.

What Charisma Actually Is

Is it true that to possess charisma, you need to be naturally outgoing or be lucky enough to be born with it?

No. In fact, charisma comprises three qualities: presence, power and warmth. In her book The Charisma Myth, charisma consultant and keynote speaker Olivia Fox Cabane explains that each of these qualities can be learnt and developed like any other skill.

Keep Yourself in the Present

Stage presence is the quality performers or theatre actors exude on stage that compels us to watch them.

Cabane’s definition of presence for charisma is slightly different. Having presence is not about drawing attention to yourself, but instead giving your full attention to the other person, which makes them feel good.

Presence can help you build better rapport with your colleagues or people you’ve just met. In interactions with stakeholders such as members of the public, being present for them helps them feel heard and shows that you value their opinion.

If you find yourself losing focus, bring yourself back to the present by tuning your senses to what you currently hear and feel – such as the sounds in the background or what your hands are touching.

Dress, Pose and Speak for Power

Power in charisma is being seen as having the ability to affect the world around us – regardless of how much influence or expertise one truly has.

Self-confidence is a big part of this “power”. Many motivational speakers inspire their audiences in part because they speak with such strong belief in their ideas.

Dressing for confidence is a simple way to achieve this. It does not require wearing luxury brands or the latest trends. Wear clothes that are comfortable and make you feel good. Our confidence in our appearance will then come through as charisma.

How we stand (or sit) also helps to convey power. An open, relaxed stance conveys more power than one that is hunched over and closed-off.

Lastly, our voice helps us be charismatic by taking up space in conversations. This does not mean speaking more, but speaking in a way that makes people want to listen. Aim to speak at a lower pitch, at a slower pace and with well-timed pauses.

Power and warmth go hand in hand. Warmth without power can make you seem eager to please, while power without warmth can make you appear arrogant.

Warm Hearts With Empathy

Out of the three charisma qualities, warmth is the most difficult to manufacture.

Warm people are often seen as caring and approachable. They make people around them feel comfortable.

They also tend to be empathetic. Warm people enjoy getting to know others and believe that every interaction is valuable. Their warmth comes from truly caring for others.

Build up your empathy by finding opportunities to meet new people face-to-face and reading more fiction. These activities train us to see things from various perspectives, develop our curiosity about people and better understand those who are different from us.

Charisma is largely about how we appear to other people. This means that to a certain extent, it can be faked – for example, you can act confident even when you don’t feel sure of yourself.

However, we shouldn’t depend on manufactured charisma alone. To truly build better relationships or succeed at work, we still need foundational qualities such as empathy and knowledge. Rather than relying on charisma as a shortcut to success, our existing strengths will help propel us forward.

Text by Hidayah Md Sham

Ilustration by Liew Xinyi